Career Building and Inter-Dimensional Consultants

Narrator: Welcome Lady’s and Gents to the room two-twenty-one theater house. I see some new faces in the crowd today, so for those of you who aren’t regulars of our performances, let me introduce you to our very own theater group, the Interpersonal Communication Collaboration! Now let me introduce you to our starring cast and please- hold your applause until the end.

Ha, now first, played by –stage name-, we have Maxwell: A chauvinistic male who oversees the Maxell Building Construction Site
{Maxwell enters and gives everyone a double thumbs up, then winks with his left eye at the teacher}

Second, played by –stage name-, we have Silvia: A passive woman looking for a job
{Silvia walks in and (fake)curtseys}

Next is –stage name-, playing the part of the Devil: An aggressive inter-dimensional consultant
{Slinks in and glances slyly about the room, first to the left then to the right}

And then, of course, –stage name- had to be our Angel: A harmony loving inter-dimensional consultant
{Enters and gives a slight wave}

And last, but by no means least is yours truly, -stage name-, your one and only friendly neighborhood Narrator: The charming, witty, and subtle voice behind the story
{Steps up and delivers a sweeping overdramatic bow}

And now, all of us are proud to present, for the first time anywhere: Career Building and Inter-Dimensional Consultants.

{Stage clears except for Maxwell who freezes slightly turned away from the audience, staring off into space}

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Act 1. Scene 1.

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Narrator: It is still early morning on the first of June. The day has a cool start, but if the giant burning ball of gas but one astronomical unit away is of any indication, work at the Maxwell Building Construction Site will soon be heating up indeed.

{Maxwell stands shouting off scene at somebody, hand to forehead against the sun’s glare and waving the other hand in frustration}

Maxwell: NO- NO- NO- Put those beams in straight and recheck your measurements before you go any further. I don’t want to have to have you redo this later.

Narrator: As Maxwell of Maxwell Building goes about his tedious work of telling others what to do, a figure emerges from the midmorning haze.

{Cue Silvia}

Narrator: She approaches timidly, her hands clasped before her, then, with a form like that of an hourglass and arms thick enough to store Atlantic freighters, she smiles sweetly at Maxwell.

{Maxwell turns and studies her, stroking his chin}

Maxwell: Well, Well, what have we here? It seems there’s a lovely lady on my construction site.

Narrator: Little does Maxwell know that this particular lovely lady is not alone. Why this is even your handsome narrator cannot say for sure. Maybe she is just well attuned to the natural vibrations of the universe, or maybe some metaphysical creatures find her a light amusement, or maybe, just maybe, she is little more than a schizophrenic nutjob. But whatever the case may be, one thing remains certain: her inter-dimensional consultants are never far away.

{Devil sidles up and gets eerily close to Silviana, rasping in her ear}

Devil: Hey, you’re not going to let him talk to you like that are you?

{Angel approaches, smiling a few steps away and speaks with a calm quiet voice}

Angel: Oh, please don’t mind my associate. I’m sure his heart is in the right place, but his head is all wrong. Be confident, but don’t overstep yourself. Just let him know who you are and why we’re here.

{Silvia nods and turns back to Maxwell}

Silvia: Um, my name is Silvia Plum. Are you Maxwell? I’m here about-

Maxwell: Ah-ha you must be married to one of my men, am I right? Of course I’m right. So what’s the lucky bastard’s name? I’ll call him down for you.

{Silvia casts her glance down at her feet}

Silvia: Oh, um…

Narrator: Seeing their client hesitate, her inter-dimensional consultants move in with advice.

{Devil whispers in her ear}

Devil: You see that. You let him get away with one thing and he’s already making assumptions about you. A well placed kick should send him a different message.

Angel: Oh, you. Try to remember we need this man to like her.

Devil: No, you remember that we need this man to respect her.

Angel: Silvia, dear, kicking him won’t convey anything more than the vague idea that he probably did something you don’t like. A verbal response should work out much better.

{Silvia looks up at Maxwell. Behind her the devil crosses his arms and glares at the angel, who in turn sticks out a dainty tongue}

Silvia: Actually, sir, I’m here about the job opening.

Maxwell: So you aren’t married then?

Silvia: No?

{A broad grin spreads across Maxwell’s face}

Maxwell: Excellent. In that case, let us go have some lunch together. I know a nice café nearby and-

Narrator: At that very moment, a persistent ringing emanates from deep within Maxwell’s pocket.

{Maxwell pulls a cellphone out and flips it open}

Maxwell: Hold on a sec. I have to get this. It’s my wife.

{Maxwell turns to the side and talks into his cellphone though Silvia hears no sound as her consultants crowd around her}

Devil: That man is married and hitting on you. It’s not too late to kick him, that’s all I’m saying.

Angel: Patience, he was probably just being polite. If it bothers you just turn down his offer.

{Maxwell flips his phone shut and returns it to his pocket}

Maxwell: Sorry about that. Now then, as I was saying, there’s a nice café nearby and-

{The Devil mimes a dropkick in the background}

Silvia: I ate before I came.

Maxwell: Oh… that’s too bad. Well, anyway, about the job- I’m not so sure you’re cut out for it, being a woman and all you understand. Construction takes a lot a physical manpower. I might be able to find something else you can do for me though.

Narrator: Such hazardous implications draw Silvia’s inter-dimensional consultants to her aid.

Devil: You ate before you came? Such a lovely lie. I almost wish I had given that one to you myself. Oh, and he’s just asking for a display of your “manpower”, isn’t he?

{Devil waggles two fingers on each hand for the quotes on manpower}

Angel: A show of your strength may actually work here.

{Angel glances at Devil}

Angel: Although not the sort of display my associate keeps hinting at.

Narrator: Silvia considers her options quietly, leaving the audience on the edges of their seats! What will happen next? Will the devil convince Silvia to kick Maxwell? Will the angel admit her deep admiration and love of the narrator? Will we ever learn why Maxwell’s wife called him? All these questions go completely ignored as Silvia makes up her mind.

{Silvia settles behind a nearby prop and lifts it over her head}

Narrator: Without a word, Silvia lifts a conveniently placed 100 pound piece of concrete over her head with no more difficulty and a lot less screaming than if it were a small child.

Maxwell: Hmm, alright, you’ve convinced me. You meet my physical requirements.

{Silvia tosses prop over her shoulder}

Silvia: Does that mean I get the job, sir?

Maxwell: I’m a little worried that your presence might make the men rowdy.

Silvia: I can handle a little rowdiness, after all, I just…
{Silvia clamps a hand over her mouth and shakes her head}

Maxwell: Just?

Silvia: Never mind, please forget I said that.

{Maxwell puts his hands on his hips, his voice now demanding}

Maxwell: Just?

Narrator: Having backed herself into a corner, Silvia turns to her trusted advisers for help.

Silvia: Help!

Devil: You don’t want to tell him? Try a subject change or challenge his right to dismiss you because of how other people might behave. If you want this job you either need to show some backbone or some leg, your choice.

Angel: You already said too much. He probably won’t be satisfied until you tell him.

Devil: Or just lie again.

{Silvia turns back to Maxwell}

Silvia: Got out of prison.

Devil: Ho-boy, now you’ve done it.

Maxwell: Prison? What were you in for?

Silvia: Throwing a guy through a bar window.

Maxwell: Well that’s not-

Silvia: And then jumping out after him with a bar stool to explain what it feels like when somebody won’t stop hitting on me.

Maxwell: Uh…

Silvia: The jury wouldn’t believe that the Devil made me do it.

Devil: Hey now, all I did was calculate the proper trajectory for that window, the stool was all you girl.

Silvia: Don’t worry though, I’ve learned my lesson. It’s just infidelity that really gets my goat now.

Narrator: And in that fateful moment, the bells of truth rang from Maxwell’s pocket.

{Maxwell pulls out his phone and flips it open}

Maxwell: Uh, hang on. I’ve got to get this. It’s my girlfriend.

{Silvia tilts her head to the side}

Silvia: You’re girlfriend did you say? Wasn’t the last call from your-?

Maxwell: Oh look at the time. I think I’ll just go get lunch now. Uhm…

{Maxwell hastily crams his phone back into his pocket as Silvia walks over to the ‘100 lb’ prop and hefts it. She chases him around the room and out the door with it held over her head}

Maxwell (on exit of room shouts): Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

{Left standing alone with the Angel, the Devil glances at her and they begin to stroll out of the room together}

Devil: So, uh, want to go grab a bite to eat? I hear there’s a nice café nearby.

Angel: I really need to find a better job…

Narrator: This story is based on an actual event in the lives of two people and two inter-dimensional consultants. Similar stories play out in the daily lives of average folk all over the world. Five years later Maxwell’s business crumbled and he lived out the rest of his life on the top of a mountain as the world’s only drunk guru. Silvia founded a demolition company and made it her life’s work to destroy everything Maxwell had ever built. For his part in this the Devil was eventually banished to a fiery lake where he would live until eternity came to an end. As for the Angel, she met a man named Charlie and with the help a few others like her found herself in a successful career working as an inter-dimensional spy. The end.

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This is a one act play I wrote for an interpersonal communications class I took. The devil was supposed to represent bad ways of getting your message across and the angel good ways. Probably worth noting that, in true Shakespearean tradition, every member in our group was male and some of the stuff in here was written specifically to poke fun at this. Incidentally, in addition to writing the script I also played the devil when we preformed it.